It's been a long, cold, heart breaking 6 weeks.

It feels like a life time. 

This year has been full of pain. If I look over my journal I see tear stained, tattered, questioning pages.

It kills me to talk to the 11 year old who is a meth addict--his father showed him how. Why God?

I can still see the sweet baby girl I held in the streets of Cambodia--I feel the effects of my crushed heart as I realized she would most likely not make it to her 5th birthday. Its not Fair Lord! 

I have experienced more hear break then I care to.  

I have seen to the evils of the sinful man in explicit, ugly ways. 

And I have fallen in love with Jesus more then ever before. I love how He loves. I love His soft heart. I love his justice.  

I love how my heat can be shattered all over the streets of Portland and he gently picks up the pieces and makes them whole again. 

I love that when my world hangs by a thread I can look up and see Him not moving. My Rock. I love that though there is pain and great suffering He is there. 

What did I see on the streets of Portland? I found this: Jesus is the only thing worth putting your trust in.

He will not fail. He does not fail and He is always worth it. 

-jocelyn.elise

i want to be a rock star!

I walk down the streets of Portland. I hear my name yelled. I see a friend who I meet on the streets come running up to me. We sit and talk about her day, about mine. 

After a few moments she gets us to walk to dinner. I give her a hug. "love you Jocelyn, thanks for listening."

She leaves me standing there wondering, has it really has been this simple my whole life and I just missed it. 

YES.                         It  is.                           It was.

I have been asked over and over again what the answer is. What is the problem with these kids? Why are they homeless? Why don't they just get a job? Why don't they just go home? 

I don't know why. The reasons are different as the people. Some reasons valid, some not. 

But this I do know:

No one wants them. Jesus pursuits their heart.

No one seems to notice them. Jesus knows what color their eyes are. 

I have found that the smallest acts are Jesus to these kids. Eye contact and a smile can grant a hopeless heart the courage to go on another day. 

+++++++++++++

more portraits to come, thank you for your prayers

gratefulness,

jocelyn.elise